"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28
This week (Monday and Tuesday really) have been full of discouragement, worry, and the thinking of "What now?" I quit my long term sub job on Monday. Technically, Thursday was going to be my last day but thankfully things worked out so that Monday was my last day. Before I took the job I had doubts on it because of how things were going before I even got started! I should have gone with the instincts.
I know that quitting was the right thing to do even though I hate that it happened. I never quit anything! I always see a tough job as a way to prove to myself that I can do it. I did do the job for a really long time but I couldn't finish it out. I'm not one to talk bad about anyone (or at least I try not to), I don't throw people under the bus, I do an honest job, I work to the best of my abilities, I'm not perfect, I mess up all the time but I always do the very best that I can possibly do, especially when children are involved. I can quit knowing that I did what I could, did the right thing, and now I know that I will never work under that administration. When I started the job, the teacher didn't leave my any lesson plans, seating charts, class rules/procedures. I left with 2 weeks worth of lesson plans done, all copies finished, seating charts, updated grade book, and a list of the procedures I put in place that the kids have been used to since I've been there. So I know by doing that I didn't put anyone in a super stressful situation. On Monday I felt fine about the situation, yesterday I felt sad, mad, frustrated, defeated, discouraged, the list goes on. Now I'm at peace with what's happened. The Lord is all knowing and I know that He'll take care of the situation.
I don't know what will happen next but I know God does. In fact, for the past month He's been preparing us for this, we just didn't know it. My paycheck wasn't a whole lot but it did pay for all of my medicine, groceries, and extra money to put onto Matthew's car payment so we can get that car paid off asap. A few weeks ago Matthew had to get his car fixed. We were debating on how much would be too much to fix it and we started to look at new cars. (Turns out that looking at cars is fun and exciting but man are they expensive!) Well, it turns out the cost to fix the car was just a few hundred dollars! We were thinking it was a major engine problem that would be a few thousand dollars. Praise God! Our insurance approved a shot that I'm on. Without insurance this shot costs about $800 a month, all we pay is $30 a month! We had prepared a good chunk of our budget to go towards that one medicine. Then, I got all of my other prescriptions set up on the home delivery pharmacy stuff that our insurance does. Instead of spending over $400 a month on prescription medicine that I literally can't live without, we only pay $150 a month! We were thankful when we found all of this out thinking we could get the car paid off even faster and now that I don't have a job, we are incredibly thankful for God's provision. I am thankful that Matthew has a great job that pays well, I'm thankful that we (well, I had to teach Matthew first :p) have been taught how to be smart with money and that we have the self control to be smart with our money. Even though I'm not bringing in the bacon we're ok and that is a good feeling to have, especially in these times.
I'm trusting that God will open doors for a job but these times are scary. All districts are on a hiring freeze, some are in better shape than others, and some districts are having to lay off a lot of people. I don't want to take the first job that becomes available but I know that I can't be picky. I know of one math position that might open up, (the teacher is moving) but the principal isn't allowed to actually hire anyone right now. He said the job's mine if they can replace that teacher. I have a lot of connections in the district I was in last year and have been in contact with several principals there but they can't hire right now until the district says so. We'll see what happens! This is a great lesson for me in learning how to completely trust in the Lord and being patient.