This past month has really been a struggle for me. I've struggled physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I had surgery about a month ago and for 3 weeks of that I couldn't do very much. I am always on the go and I wasn't even able to walk my dog around block. I couldn't even sit like a normal person, most of the time I had to lay down on the couch or the bed. Towards the end I was incredibly frustrated, bored, and impatient. Poor Matthew. I'm finally doing better. My doctor finally gave me permission to work out starting this Wednesday. Now I feel like I'm incredibly out of shape but I know it won't take me long to get back up.
The job search isn't going well at all. I'm glad I took this year. I'm the healthiest I've been since high school and I'm ready to get back into the classroom. However, the people who don't have a clue what its like to run a classroom are making budget decisions and new laws. I have been in very close contact with the new principal at the school that I used to teach at. Right now, the district is having to do a lot of transfers in order to keep from laying anyone off. There isn't a time line of when that will be finished. As of right now there is at least one math position open, maybe 2 but he can't hire me until the district gives him permission. This whole budget crisis is incredibly depressing and upsetting. I really want to have a teaching job next year. I know that its what I'm supposed to do. I also know that it will be okay if I don't teach next year. I'll be able to find another job, even if it is just secretarial/administrative assistant stuff. Something is better than nothing. Until school starts up again I will pray everyday for the right teaching job to open up and I will continually check the job openings several times a day ever day. I'm not giving up until September!
The past month I've really allowed negative thoughts to enter in. Things like, "I'm not good enough" thoughts questioning my decision to take a year off, thoughts of I'm not smart enough to pass the high school math certification test (i don't remember a whole lot about calculus or trig but I'm working on reviewing). This past week has been full of encouragement from my the Lord in my quiet time, my dad giving me random calls telling me it'll be okay, to just having to change my mindset. I'm thankful to be getting back to normal.